Reality
by missaleatoire
Summary: "He felt like a dying man in the desert who came upon an oasis, who, even as the cool water reached his burning lips, was still not sure if it was all just a mirage." Set after S6 finale.
1. Chapter 1

**Reality**

_A/N: This must be what heaven is like. Thank you David Shore, thank you producers, thank you writers. Hugh Laurie, once again I profess my undying love._

_This is an exploration of the Huddy relationship, set the morning after the S6 finale._

_Disclaiming. Disclaimed._

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He stared at the woman lying beside him, beams of morning light stealing through the blinds and tangling themselves through the soft curls framing her face. It felt strange to have a woman in his bed beside him, after all these years alone. It felt even more surreal to have it be _Cuddy_. He must be living in some wonderful dream.

This impression was further strengthened by the sounds of gurgling coming through the baby monitor beside the bed. The woman beside him opened her blue-grey eyes, eyes that never fail to stun him every single time. "Morning," she smiled.

"Morning," he said. The words falling from his lips sounded like it belonged to a stranger. How many times had he wanted to say it to her, in a context like this? But reality had never worked this way. Reality was supposed to be harsh, cold and cruel.

A soft kiss on the lips, and she was gone, padding across the room. "Wait," he said.

She turned back, a quizzical look on her face.

"I love you," he said. He was afraid if he didn't say it, she'd be gone forever. He needed something to pin her down.

He was rewarded with a radiant smile. "I love you too. Go shower."

.

As hot water pounded on his tired muscles and made his wounds sting anew, events of the previous night played in his mind like a movie reel. Her shouting at him, telling him he was alone. Hannah's lifeless form. Broken mirror. Insidious little white pills. Pain. These things were his reality. No matter how bad, how unbearable it became, he could always count on it being real.

And then she arrived like a saving angel, and his reality was shattered into pieces. He felt like a dying man in the desert who came upon an oasis, who, even as the cool water reached his burning lips, was still not sure if it was all just a mirage.

.

She returned as he stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his midriff. "Let me rebandage your shoulder," she said. He obediently stayed still as her soft hands worked quickly.

"Where's the kid?" he asked, examining her face in the mirror.

"Busy tossing Cheerios on the floor," she said, keeping her eyes on his shoulder.

He knew she was trying to figure out how to explain his presence and Lucas's absence to the little girl. Kids didn't take well to sudden changes. The gravity of it all hit him. He could not screw this up. Cuddy's kid deserved a stable childhood with a stable paternal figure. A year ago, the enormity of the responsibility would've sent him running for the hills. But now things are different. Cuddy had saved his life; the least he could do is to try for her.

"How's your pain?" she asked him.

"Manageable," he replied. Ibuprofen and happiness worked better than Vicodin ever could.

When Cuddy had ascertained that House was presentable, they went out together into the kitchen. The kid was kicking on a highchair and had upended the bowl of Cheerios, almost all of it scattered on the floor.

"Oh, Rach," Cuddy said. She went over to the little girl and picked her up. "Not hungry, are you?" She turned towards House. "Rachel, this is House."

Rachel looked at him curiously.

"Hi, kid," House said awkwardly.

"Say hi, Rach."

The little girl tucked into her mother. "Hi," she said shyly. She looked up at Cuddy. "Where Lucas?"

House saw guilt pass over Cuddy's face. Lucas had babysat Rachel often. She liked him. She was going to be upset when told that he was gone.

Cuddy had evidently opted to postphone the moment of revelation. "He's working." It was probably a frequently used excuse.

The doorbell rang. Cuddy went off to let Marina in. When she came back into the kitchen with her, her cheeks were slightly flushed but she was business-like. "Marina, this is Dr. House." She turned to him. "I'm going to shower and get dressed. There are some bagels in the pantry, and juice in the fridge. Get ready to leave soon." Then she handed Rachel off to Marina, effectively silencing any of the nanny's questions. House had to admire her nerve.

.

They were both in the car, on their way to Princeton-Plaincebro. House had rather enjoyed his breakfast, making himself completely at home and the nanny darting suspicious looks at him now and then.

"I hadn't told Marina about the engagement," Cuddy spoke quietly as she drove. "I was going to, yesterday, but the accident call came and I had no time."

House nodded.

"I'll explain it to her tonight," she continued determinedly.

He nodded again.

"What?" She said, catching his look of amusement in the review mirror.

"Nothing," he said, catching her free hand and squeezed it, relishing the feel of the absence of a ring.

.

Cuddy parked in her reserved spot, right in front of the hospital entrance. "Wow," House said. "It's even closer than my cripple one. No fair."

Cuddy surreptitiously scanned the parking lot through her mirrors. "Are we ready to do this?" she asked.

Last night, there had been no way she was going to leave him alone in his apartment after what had happened. But she had to go back to her child. It felt natural asking him to go home with her. She kind of knew then that they'd have to face this problem this morning, but it hadn't mattered at the time.

When the hospital found out that the Dean of Medicine had ditched her fiancé overnight for the cranky Head of Diagnostics, the uproar was going to be bigger than when Cameron left Chase.

She noticed House sitting back in his seat, completely relaxed and smirking at her paranoid behaviour. "What?" she asked, irritated. Of course he wasn't concerned. He wasn't above shouting that they'd had sex from the mezzanine balcony.

"The hospital is going to be swamped from yesterday's accident," he replied calmly. "I don't think anyone's going to notice if you and I happened to arrive at the same time. 'Course, it's a lot earlier than when I usually come to work, so I'm completely fine with hanging out somewhere else for a while." He raised an eyebrow.

She breathed. Of course he was right. "No," she smirked back at him. "You're going to be on time for once." She grew serious. "Is it okay if we break it to them slowly?" she asked.

"As long as I get to tell Wilson," House said.

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_Review please? :D_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much for the amazing reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter._

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**Ch. 2**

"Knock, knock," a dry voice came from the doorway.

"House!" Wilson jumped up from his desk and almost banged his knee in his hurry to get to his best friend. "Are you alright?" He eyed House's cuts with concern.

"I'm fine," House said, brushing past Wilson to sit down. "Why?"

"Why?" Wilson cried, and realized he was being too loud. "House," he said in a quieter but no less vehement tone, "I've been trying to reach you all night! Foreman said you were injured and really upset, and looked like you were going to do something drastic -"

"He said that, huh?"

"I went over to your apartment." Wilson stopped.

House looked at him. "Well? Out with it."

"I saw a broken mirror, and Vicodin on the bathroom floor. House…" Wilson looked apprehensive. "What happened?"

House was silent for a while. "Did you call Cuddy?" he asked finally.

"Yeah, but she didn't pick up and I thought…she might be busy." Wilson said. "Please tell me what happened last night. Are you back on Vicodin?"

"You thought she was busy with her new fiancé," House stated.

"House, answer my question!"

House sighed, and looked away. "My patient died," he said.

"And?" Wilson held his breath.

"I came back to the apartment, smashed the mirror, was almost going to take the Vicodin…"

"But you didn't?"

"I would have," House said. "If…if Cuddy hadn't shown up."

"Cuddy showed up?" Wilson said, completely thrown.

"She said she loved me."

House could've laughed at the mixture of incredulousness, confusion, and cautious hope on Wilson's face. "Wait. What? She said that?"

"Uh huh."

"And you _didn't_ take the Vicodin," he said, to make sure.

"Nuh uh."

Wilson let out a long breath, and collapsed back on his couch. He didn't speak for a long time.

"We went back to her place," House said.

Wilson rubbed his face, suddenly looking very tired. "House, I thought you died."

"Sorry," House said.

They both sat in silence.

"What about Lucas?" Wilson asked.

"She said she ended it."

"She just got engaged."

"I know."

"Let's have lunch together," Wilson said. "With Cuddy."

"I don't do encores, Wilson," House said, rolling his eyes and standing up. "It's not another hallucination."

"I know," Wilson said, ushering him out the door. "I just have to see this with my own eyes."

...

Cuddy was having a hectic morning. On top of the hospital issues she had to deal with, she also had Lucas. Generally, one did not abruptly end a relationship within a day of one's engagement, especially after buying a new house together. They'd already moved some stuff in.

Cuddy did not regret her decision. She'd always known she loved House deep down somewhere, but House was never going to be available, or stable. Lucas seemed like the next best thing. He was reliable, funny, good with Rachel, and almost smart as House. But that was the problem. She was forever comparing Lucas to House in her mind, and it wasn't fair to him.

When she had heard House's quiet, painfully honest confession in front of Hannah, she realized what he'd been trying to tell her all year: that he'd changed. And the love that was pushed deep down started fighting its way up, demanding space in her consciousness. She wasn't "done," like she'd said. She'd _never_ be done with House. How could she, knowing that, get married to someone else? How could she tell Lucas that she loved him with a clean conscience, when her "I don't love you" to House, no matter how desperately she wanted it to be true, rang false?

This was troubling her as she made her way home when she received news that Hannah died. She immediately knew what House was going to do to himself. And she also had the biggest revelation of her life.

House needed her, that's _all_ it mattered. All the arguments that House wasn't stable or dependable, were all rationalizations she'd made up to protect herself. And she knew she needed him too, because when she thought of him overdosing and dying, knives twisted in her stomach and she had trouble breathing. Despite what she said to him, she couldn't move on.

He was the most screwed up person in the world, and she loved him still. Could she say the same about anybody else?

She had rushed straight to his apartment, without changing out of her scrubs. She'd called Lucas on the way. _"_I'm sorry," was the first thing she'd said.

"Sorry? For what?" Asked a bewildered Lucas.

"I can't get married."

Silence on the other end. Finally, "House?"

Even in the crisis of the moment, she had to appreciate Lucas's lightening-quick intelligence. "Yeah."

"I'm guessing he needs you."

"Yeah."

"You want me to move out?"

She bit her lip. "Yeah."

"Lisa. You know I love you, right? I need you, too."

She closed her eyes. "But I need him," she said.

Lucas deserved a proper goodbye. Cuddy looked at her desk drawer and sighed.

…

When House entered the DDX room, all the ducklings minus one were staring at him anxiously and solemnly.

"What, somebody died?" House said, throwing his backpack on the table and glancing at Foreman.

"You alright?" Chase asked.

House mocked looking down at himself. "Minor cuts and abrasions," he said. "Where's Thirteen?"

Nobody spoke. House's eyes narrowed. Taub produced a letter. "Here."

House knew this was coming. He let out a long breath as he read the letter and then set it down. "Do we have a patient?"

"No," Chase said. "Cuddy wants us to help out in the ER."

"Well, better do what Cuddy wants! Go."

Foreman lagged behind, evidently wanting to say something. House glared at him. "Go!"

After Foreman left, House went back to his office, and began to think.

…

"Hey."

Cuddy looked up from the mess on her desk and smiled. It was funny; all the times she had glared or frowned at him when he came through her office door, she'd always secretly wanted to smile. "Hey. What's up?"

"Wilson summons us to lunch."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Of course he does." House approached her and she kissed him quickly. "You go first," she said. "I have to finish up something."

"Ah, of course. Have to stagger our arrival times." Before she could react, he had opened her desk drawer and was already on his way out the door, book in hand.

"Hey!"

"Sorry," House said unrepentantly. "I'm taking my gift back. You might want to do something about the other thing, too. See you at lunch." And he was gone.

Cuddy stared down at the open drawer, the diamond of the engagement ring winking back at her.

…

It was a normal day in the PPTH cafeteria. Dr. House was stealing Dr. Wilson's fries between bites of a Reuben sandwich. Dr. Cuddy was looking hurried as she bought an apple and a salad. Wilson waved Cuddy over.

"Hello," Wilson said expectantly.

"Hi," Cuddy said as she started in on her salad without dressing.

"Seriously, woman, how are you not anorexic with the way you eat?" House said with a mouth full of sandwich.

"How have you not had a heart attack, the way _you_ eat?" Cuddy replied without missing a beat.

"I _have_ had a heart attack," House said. "It wasn't because of my diet, though."

"Cuddy, you didn't answer my calls," Wilson cut in.

"Sorry," Cuddy said. "I was busy." She scarfed down her salad in record time. "Gotta go," she said, tossing the apple in the air. House caught it. As she left, he grinned at Wilson.

"Wow," Wilson said. "You two _are_ really together."

House bit into the apple. "Told ya."


End file.
